What is Social Thinking?
Social thinking is the set of skills ākonga use to notice what is happening around them, understand other people, manage themselves, communicate, join in, solve problems, and repair relationships.
These skills are not always picked up incidentally. Some ākonga need social expectations to be taught clearly, practised often, and supported with visuals, modelling, co-regulation, and safe opportunities to try again.
Why Social Thinking matters
Positive peer relationships help ākonga feel safe, included, and ready to learn. When we support social thinking proactively, we shift from correcting behaviour to teaching the skills underneath it.
Helpful reframe: Instead of asking “Why won’t they behave socially?”, ask: “What social information is hard to notice, understand, or respond to right now?”
Social Thinking includes
Self-awareness
Understanding feelings, needs, strengths, worries, and what helps.
Social navigation
Reading cues, joining in, communicating, taking turns, and building relationships.
Self-regulation
Managing energy, impulses, frustration, disappointment, and recovery after challenge.
Cognitive flexibility
Handling change, trying
another way, accepting uncertainty, and problem solving with others.
What teachers might notice
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Difficulty joining games, conversations, or group work.
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Interrupting, walking away, or talking at length about one topic.
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Misreading tone, facial expression, body language, or personal space.
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Becoming stuck when plans, rules, friendships, or routines change.
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Using controlling or “bossy” behaviour to manage uncertainty.
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Needing adult support to repair after conflict.
Remember
These are not signs that an ākonga is being “difficult”. They may be signs that the social demand is too high, or that a social-emotional skill needs to be taught more clearly.
Supportive classroom strategies
1. Teach social expectations explicitly
Name the skill, model it, practise it, and revisit it in real contexts. Teach one small step at a time: joining in, waiting, disagreeing, asking for help, or repairing.
2. Use visuals and scripts
Use first–then boards, now–next visuals, conversation steps, repair scripts, and group-work role cards. Keep supports available for everyone so they are normalised.
3. Plan for peer connection
Use structured buddy systems, tuakana–teina opportunities, small-group roles, and carefully supported play or learning tasks so ākonga know how to participate.
4. Make participation flexible
Allow watching before joining, provide quiet roles, offer movement options, and accept communication through gesture, drawing, AAC, a trusted peer, or short responses.
5. Co-regulate before problem solving
When emotions are high, use calm adult presence, fewer words, and predictable support. Social teaching can happen once the ākonga feels safe again.
Helpful teacher language
“You can watch first and join when you’re ready.”
“Let’s work out what each person was thinking or feeling.”
“Something went wrong. That happens. We can repair it.”
“Your idea matters. Let’s find a way to share it clearly.”
“I’ll help you with the first step.”
Social Thinking supports can include
Working with whānau
Whānau bring important knowledge about their tamaiti’s strengths, communication, culture, sensory preferences, friendships, and what helps them feel safe.
This knowledge helps teachers plan social support that is respectful, familiar, and strengths-based.
At home
Practise turn-taking games, naming feelings, preparing for changes, and using simple repair language.
At school
Share what is working, celebrate small steps, and keep communication two-way and strengths-based.
Reflection questions for kaiako
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What social thinking skill is this ākonga still learning?
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Have I taught the expectation clearly, or only corrected it?
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What visual, script, role, or peer support could help?
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How can I increase scaffolding while protecting belonging?
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What strengths did I notice today?
Key message
Social thinking grows through safety, belonging, explicit teaching, practice, and repair. We support ākonga best when we teach the skills, scaffold participation, and keep relationships at the centre.